Ok, so I got this idea from Heidi. What you have to do is type "
I posted the results a long time ago, so it might be different now:
~Jennifer's Survival Guide~
(A.K.A How to Meet the Needs of a Jennifer in Your Life)
1. Jen needs . . . a muzzle.
~ Correction. I don't bite! Not hard at least.
2. Jen needs . . . a session or two with a therapist.
3. Jen needs . . . human anatomy lessons.
4. Jen needs . . . to get back to reality.
5. Jen needs . . .more tattoos.
~I scared to death of needles. If I survived, my mom would be even more frightening. I would probably die. Let's not have that happen so close to graduation.
6. Jen needs . . . to be a My Little Pony!
....Does this have anything to do with My Little Ponies having TATTOOS on their glutes? (see previous one)
7. Jen needs . . . to be in jail
~ The ones that snap and go off on a rampage are always the quiet ones.
8. Jen needs . . . both a warrior and a lover and that is his legacy
9. Jen needs . . . to be a parent and get off message boards.
~THIS Jen is not a parent. And this weblog is proof enough that I am not on message boards all that much.
10. Jen needs . . .to find a self righteous, conspicuous "I'm better than you" charitable position so she can keep charming the sheep into thinking she matters.
...Ouch!
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I thought these were weird enough. But then I tried my full name. I have concluded that people named Jennifer are the crazy ones. And thank you famous Jennifer's (Aniston, Lopez, Hudson), for making this so much more interesting.
Jennifer needs . . . to be in a mental health facility right now.
Jennifer needs . . . help
~ Perhaps this is why I am also required to be placed in a mental health facility...
Jennifer needs . . . to give birth in the next week.
. . . ?!
Jennifer needs . . .to play by the rules.
Jennifer needs . . .2 ½ cups of sugar to make cookies for 15 people.
~Or more . . . I would probably burn the first half.
Jennifer needs to accept that she’s gained what looks like some major pounds.
~Ha! Probably from all those cookies. That is A LOT of sugar.
Jennifer needs . . . this diva publicity like she needs a hole in the head
~I feel so loved by all my fans...
Jennifer needs . . . to go battle demons
~YES! NOW THAT IS EPIC. It reminds me of Inuyasha.
Jennifer needs . . . to leave some mystery in her life...Not let it read on the front pages every time she farts
~How deeply upsetting. I am disturbed and enraged.
Jennifer needs . . .to to build a bridge & get over her river of tears she has cried
~If I cried any such river of tears, it was over what is apparently "read on the front pages"
And the final one I found...(this one was quite long so I had to visit the page to get the whole thing.)
Drum roll please . . .
Jennifer needs . . . a vodka & cranberry, heavy on the vodka. And needs a long hot shower. and a pedicure. and a two-week vacation in Mexico. And might possibly need a puppy... a cute one with big paws. that doesn't get any bigger than, say, a 6-year-old child... and answers to the name former congressman bob dole. But most importantly? She needs somebody to do her grocery shopping so she won't be eating cheerios for breakfast, lunch, and dinner this weekend.
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