Sweetness in a Jar

There is a legend about my house.  My friend's father believed that it really wasn't a house at all, only walls.  I suppose by this he is insinuating that my mother and father, and even my dog are proof that there are alien races.  Anyway supposedly once stepping across the threshold of the building, a beam would take one up to the mother-ship.

Well, it is a fact that the house is a major disaster area; no one has walked inside of it as the mess is practically crawling up the walls.  I will alert all my followers when that day comes when we are featured on Hoarders: Buried Alice.

We constantly find things that we never knew we had.  Now, thanks to Dora and her family, a new theory for this phenomena exists.  It is the work of a fairy who blesses the home with random things.
In her family's case, the diverse fairy brings Violin duets and L-Squares.
At least her fairy is detail oriented and well...just more mature than the fairy of our's.

The fairy in our house embodies that of a small destructive child.

1.)  While I was cleaning my room the day I found those glow in the dark stars that are now plastered to my popcorn ceiling, I came across a most intriguing small jar.  It contains the tentacle of an octopus...it appears.  It is floating (more or less)  in some dark yellow liquid which is what I believe to be (and hope is)  octopus juice.


I have no recollection of buying this.

Initially, I figured it belonged to my dad, as he is quirky enough to spend money on such a thing.  Yet, neither of my parents recognize the floating body part.  My mom had no desire to keep it and my dad couldn't care less.  So the odd treasure is now on my desk with an assortment of shiny objects and my old Pokemon figures.

The jar says to "refrigerate after opening".  But I like it where it is, and am fairly certain that I would be sent to an early grave if my mom had coronary when finding it lurking among our left over T.V. dinners.

2.)  I have friends who are younger than me who wish to use my old textbooks.  The are in a stack by the front door because that is the place I placed them on the last day of school.  And it compliments the surrounding piles.  (There is an art to making an extremely cluttered home aesthetically appealing.)

A few days ago, while my family was going through them to find the ones we were passing down, we made a new discovery.  Right next to the pile of books sat, not one, but two fire extinguishers .  My parents looked at each other trying to figure out where they came from and why they were next to my school books.

I certainly couldn't reason through it either.  I had enough to drag to school every morning and there is no way I would find the energy to haul an additional two fire extinguishers.  My family let the matter drop as there was no evidence that I tried to set fire to my chemistry homework.

3.)  One day, my dad found a dead frog in the hallway.  I bet I could type that sentence alone and you could infer the rest.  The dog was outside the whole day and this did not appear to be her doing.  Being the role-model figure that he is...my father just placed it in a box, on the kitchen floor.

After my amusement at the fact that I could see for myself that fact truly is yellow-orange in color, and my mom's initial shock, it now resides in the front yard.  The tragic corpse spends its days rotting away and occasionally blowing into the rocks with the wind.

4.)  I can't say that this is terribly surprising, just puzzling.  Not only does my mother decorate our entire living space with piles of clutter, she accents these piles by hanging things.  Now, I hang things in my room.  But my drive to do so is limited to my assortment of anime wall scrolls.  I would call it modest in comparison, and far cry from my mother's near compulsive behavior.  Floor space is clearly lacking.  So, she decides to utilize wall space as well, but it extends beyond that.  She goes so far as to hang miscellaneous items from the miscellaneous piles of miscellaneous clutter, in the middle of the room.  She has done everything  just short of defying the laws of gravity.

One of these hanging items is...part of a pinata.  The leg of a unicorn to be specific.  And my mother decided to hang it from a bookshelf in the corner on the hallway.  I think I am the only one of my friends that can say "I was waking though my house and got kicked in the face by a unicorn".


5.)  Another random discovery is what appears to be blood spatter on the wall.  No one knows how it got there as it randomly appeared one day; no one was injured.  Now everyone just thinks of it as part of the other things that crawl up the walls.  I myself find it rather artistic, and sometimes I can't help but smile as I pass by.

But just like Dora's fairy, ours does not bring chocolate bars, much to my dismay.