Where Am I Going With This?

The Little Things I Miss Just Because I am Selfish

-A stash of flaming hot cheetos on the top shelf of the pantry, left there just to torment me

-Anime nights whenever I had a crappy day; sneaking out at odd hours of the morning to make ramen.

-Sleeping in my loft bed, surrounded by my plushies and starting up at the glow in the dark stars that I had so much fun putting up (and writing about).

-Mayhem (my kitty) waking me up because he is trying to eat my hair.

-Mayhem in general. Just having him around to talk to.

-Building forts in the front living room to hide in, and actually having them go unnoticed thanks to all the clutter.

Things That I Never Thought I Would Miss

-Randomly playing my viola just for the heck of it.

-Crazy Grandmother dragging me into her silly plots to hide her meds.

-Falling asleep outside during tough times, under real stars. As long as it wasn't cold or dark (say a pretty full moon or something) it could be oddly relaxing.

Dad?! Shocking I know, but it is Father's Day, he was acting like a jerk (putting it nicely), and I am depressed.

-Being told to wake up my dad for dinner. I was always happy to have an excuse to playfully tackle him, even though he would just tell me angrily to get lost, and then make his own dinner hours later.

-Maybe once a year, he would tell me that I looked nice. Simple. But the fact that it was rare just makes it better.

-Being told that no one will ever marry me. Is it laughable that I am actually posting this? Well, since I am a hopeless romantic at heart, I pray that this is not true. I do not miss being told that I am just like my mother (and not in a good way). But strangely I do miss this. It was fun calling his bluff, pretending that he is totally right. So in other words, I guess I miss being downright mean in retaliation. Going along with his insults instead of being hurt by them was a failing plot of bruising his ego. It is Father's Day and I am being the evil daughter from the depths of hell.

-This is the weirdest one yet, the apologies. They were seldom. And it was as if he was reading off a script, half-assed at best. But it somehow gave me hope.

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And then, Dora reblogged this on Tumblr:

Dad, Thank You For Being There For Me. :)

:/    Right...thanks for that guys. I think that I am just gonna go cry myself to sleep now.